Reaching For An Empty

Although I am writing this in first person
I feel like the last one on your list
I get pushed to pull
And I make a way to stop frowning
Making tomorrow a dream
And it seems like I'm drowning
Making me save my voice for screaming
God damn I could hate you right now
But the truth is I can't
Mind over matter, matter over my mind
Grey matter over my heart
My need for a transplant is years late
And my need for a donor is looking grim
The promise of a bitter situation is almost right now
And a better situation is looking slim
Phone calls almost gone
Time spent almost always goes wrong
Common courtesy is a joke at my expense
Mocked in first person
What a way to die
I can only imagine someone new
Enjoying the unknown you
Well for me, getting all of the history never discarded
The moods and moments that never parted
Always reminded of my mistakes
Going from chasing pavements to chasing shadows
Who would have known the real taste of being bittersweet
Sometimes it lasts and sometimes it doesn't
And just maybe wounds will always get in the way
Maybe I'll just throw my hands up and say
Goodbye
Maybe I'll just put my cup
In the trash and walk back to my heart
And cry for awhile
But in the meanwhile, you win
Memories can be my pillow and thoughts of love
Will be my sheets
But you and I know, what it feels like right now to be
Empty in all the wrong places